Our briefly employed cook may have gone beyond assertiveness into the realm of being aggressive. In pointing out every error of the employer, the employer may have become threatened and angry. Remember that being assertive also takes into account the needs and boundaries of others, even bosses. It is not wrong to improve one's work place, but one needs to choose his/her battles carefully. Perhaps correcting those problem areas under the reported cook's authority may have been an area within which to begin to be assertive. The cook could then explain his different procedures to those who would ask for an explanation. The cook could have then gained longevity and respect, and could have possibly pointed out other areas that could have been improved. There are situations wherein we may need to make an immediate stand, regardless of the consequences, such as when a person's welfare is at stake. In general, however, one can chose his/her battles and not confront every wrong that he/she sees.

Choosing one's battles may be the ultimate form of assertiveness. Assertiveness always involves balance, the balance between getting one's needs met and the needs of others. The cook achieved his need to express his anger and dissatisfaction with the sanitation standards at his job, but he didn't consider the need of his boss to be in control and his own need to keep his job. To choose one's battles is not to be a coward, but to be wise. This wisdom is the balance of getting one's needs met, conserving one's energy to assertively address the critical needs in one's environment and to respect the boundaries and needs of others.